


it's the only good fight there is

by majesdane



Category: House M.D.
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-11
Updated: 2010-10-11
Packaged: 2017-12-06 08:57:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/733869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majesdane/pseuds/majesdane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Amber doesn't know what that's like. Not being afraid.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's the only good fight there is

**Author's Note:**

> written for [this](http://penny-lane-42.livejournal.com/164912.html?thread=3313200#t3313200) prompt.

Here's the thing: she doesn't  _really_  care.  
  
She asks Thirteen questions like, 'Oh, how was your weekend?' or 'Did you see that story the other day on the news?' or 'What do you think about this?' but she doesn't really  _care_. But it's all part of the game. Act like you care when you really don't. She thinks that Thirteen gets that, which is why whenever Amber asks her anything, mundane or not, she doesn't get much of an answer out of Thirteen. And it's not because she's just a private person, Amber knows, because nobody could possibly be  _that_  private. She just gets that this is all a game. And no, she really doesn't care.  
  
The boys don't seem to get it. Or maybe they do and they're just stringing her along while she strings  _them_  along. Either way. With the boys, it's different. It's  _always_  different with boys, Amber thinks. Not like Thirteen is typical -- that, she certainly is not, Amber's never met anyone quite like her -- but still. She gets it.  
  
  
  
  
But, the thing is: after a while, she does sort of start to care.   
  
Not  _much_ , but, a little. She's always been a competitive person -- she knows it, House knows it, the whole damn  _world_  knows it. She's competitive to a fault, but it doesn't bother her. At least, it's never bothered her before. But as House's group of potential doctors slowly dwindles down into a group of seven, then six, then five, then  _four_  -- well. It's not as if she wants to lose, but she wants Thirteen to win.  
  
Sort of.   
  
There's something about her that Amber likes. She can't put her finger on it, but she suspects it has something to do with the fact that Thirteen  _gets_  that everything is just part of the game, that it always has been, and she just doesn't even seem to care. She cares, but she  _doesn't_ , and Amber finds herself intrigued by that. It's as if Thirteen just isn't afraid.  
  
Amber doesn't know what that's like. Not being afraid.  
  
It's being afraid of losing that drives her, always has. She can't imagine what it'd be like to  _not_  be afraid of losing, but that's exactly what makes her interested in Thirteen; she wants to know her. Like, really  _know_  her, not just stupid superficial things that anyone could find out through a decent background check via the web.   
  
So, she wants Thirteen to win. But she also doesn't want to lose. In a way, she thinks she wants them  _both_  to win, though she's certain that it's not really all  _that_  cut and dry. It's more complicated than that, but she's not certain how to work through those complications and make sense of it all. She just knows it's what she wants.   
  
(Maybe that's part of the game too. She isn't sure.)  
  
  
  
  
When Thirteen bends down, wraps her arms around her as best as she can on the hospital bed and hugs her like the world is ending -- and maybe it is, but Amber isn't even thinking about that now; it's just a game, act like everything's going to be all right, even if you know it isn't -- and cries like maybe, really, she does care, Amber thinks, Oh.  
  
She hadn't accounted, for that, of course. That maybe Thirteen was afraid all along, and just pretending that she wasn't. And there's the realization, that maybe Thirteen found a way to just not care at all, while Amber could never find a way to care  _enough_  -- at least, not about the things that were important.  
  
Oh, maybe that's why she won.   
  
(All just a part of the game.)


End file.
